My
Relationship With Daddy
(Forgive 70 x 7)
by Donna Rose Stewart
My relationship with my father had always been
difficult. My father ("Daddy") was in the Air Force
when I was born. He came home when I was 9 months old and I
screamed when I saw him (so my mother tells me). She also tells
me that he wasn't too happy with me either - that he was jealous
of me, as I took her attention away from him. I spent much of
my life trying to please Daddy (and this carried into many of
my relationships, especially with men). It seemed that I could
never please him - as out of the "100's" of things
I did, I only heard about the one that wasn't good enough to
suit him. Until the time that I did the "exercise"
I'm going to share with you, our times together (for me) were
filled with tension and fear.
When
I was 30 years old, the day before Daddy's birthday, I began
the following exercise. I will call it "Forgive 70 x 7,"
as for 7 days I wrote out (70 times) a forgiveness statement
of my father. This is based on Matthew 18:21-22: "Then
Peter came and said to Him. 'Lord, how often shall my brother
sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus
said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up
to seventy times seven.'"
I
came to understand that Daddy loved me the best that he could;
and through the years, he got better and better at it. Daddy
had a beautiful, big and loving heart; and he came a long way
from where he started. I'm very proud of my Dad and he was,
and still is, the best Dad that I could have had.
What
I learned is that it is not necessary to confront anyone about
what "they did to you" in order to heal the relationship.
It is only necessary to heal it inside yourself. Never did I
say anything to Daddy about how I thought he had hurt me. As
I commented to my mother, "Daddy sure has changed!"
she replied, "He's not changed. He's only different with
you." And that was because I had "forgiven him."
Daddy
passed over on February 28, 2002. I was not there with him,
but I have no guilt or regrets over our relationship, or about
what I should or shouldn't have said or done. I have always
loved my father, and I expressed that to him in words and action.
I
miss Daddy and I still love him very much - and I continue to
express this to him. Maybe, he hears me.
Copyright
© 2003 Donna Rose Stewart, All Rights Reserved
|
